I know you can't trust these things at all, but...

w00t

Rig them by a lot.

That is the advise given to the makers of electronic voting machines.

Seeing that manual recounts are only done when the result is close... the best thing to do is create a whitewash.

Go read Here

ok... So apparently, in Japan...

People shoot themselves while being interogated...

Seriously. This is just plain suspisious.

Opps-a-daise

Today a work, we had a liquid lunch...

We did however come up with the best idea for a reality TV show ever though.

Single eye for the under the thumb guy. (that is the working title anyways)

What happens is this.

A bunch of single guys go around to peoples whos wives won't let them do what they want. A typical episode will be based around this scenario: A guy, married, has always dreamed of having a pool table. Now, when his wife goes on holiday, we come in, put an extra room on his house. Along with a pool table.

Now, it might be the booze talking, but I think it's gold. And the guy it was based on thought so too. (Actually, I think he just wanted a pool table.)

Any TV execs out there... drop me a line... we can work with this.

Woo. finally some good news.

Ok. I'm gonna be quoting This study every damn chance I get...

Men having the most orgasms reduced their prostate cancer risk by a full third compared with those men reporting the fewest orgasms. The same pattern held true for those who landed in between the extremes, including an 11 percent reduced cancer risk for those estimating eight to 12 monthly ejaculations and a 14 percent decrease for those in the 13- to-20 ejaculation group.

Mileah has found an excellent article

I heard a Marine officer complaining that the insurgents in Fallujah use the locals for human shields. Don't they teach you anything about guerrilla war in the service? The whole idea of guerrilla warfare is to hide in the civilian population. You snipe from the mosque or the kindergarten till finally the occupiers get mad enough to start firing blind at the mosque, the kindergarten, whatever. The people blame the occupiers, not the guerrilla. You're doing the guerrillas' recruiting for them.

It's a little weird, if you ask me, how nobody in charge seems to know all that. After all, we just went through a whole century of guerrilla warfare. Take a world map, point at random and you'll find a country that probably had a guerrilla war in the past 100 years.

But we're acting like it's a shock, like the Iraqis are breaking the rules. That's like calling a personal foul in a bar brawl.

...

That's what the Brits would've done. They've been playing one tribe against the other for hundreds of years. But it was the same old story: Bush's loudmouths wouldn't listen to anybody. They told the Kurds to shut up and stay home, and put ordinary GIs who didn't speak a word of Arabic in charge of crazy hellholes like Fallujah and Ramadi.

Go read the article It really is an excellent read.

Jo...

Can I get this job?

Now, I know that this isn't an indication on the entire US army

But This is disgusting. This will reflect poorly on both The US and the Western World.

Seriously, this shit is as bad as crap saddam was dishing out, I mean sure, it wasn't wood-chipping people, but the US are liberators. They are heros, they are saviours.

and now they have taken another hit in the PR war.

This is gonna create a lot of hate and I really hope we don't get more of these types of stories bubbling to the surface.

(And so you know, the pictures are floating around the internet if you want to see them... I didn't really want to see them again this morning...)

Panda golf

This is fun.

Not really golf at all, kinda more... bouncy...

Sorry Scott, I'm stealing your post.

500 days vacation, 0 memorials
Posted by Scott

That's the Shrub's compassionate conservatism for you.

I recall Clinton meeting planes of coffins. The Shrub's met how many returning dead?

And to think the military thought they were getting someone who would "restore the dignity of the armed forces" when the Shrub was sElected.

The silence is deafening.

Nay, a truer word has never been said.

Warlocks.

Now. I'm sure that there are some geeks reading this blog and to all of you I present:

Warlocks.

This is a fun little ditty.

And I'll take ya on, anytime, anywhere, anywho, anyhow... Come back here you cowards...

Well between 9 and 5 (GMT +10 time)

Update: oh yeah, and if anyone asks... tell 'em xade sent ya... ;)

I have a confession... a secret shame...

I watch Paradise Hotel.

I find it to be the trashiest most entertaining piece of tripe on television.

Now, I don't know if it has been and gone on American television and I don't want to google it just in case it tells me who the winner is, so nobody tell me who won, but I am curious to know, has it finished yet?

I'm also curious about this.

What's your secret show. You know, the one you love to watch but could never admit to? Come on, you can tell ol' uncle xade. I won't tell.

Al Jazeera

Apparently now it is being speculated that Al Jazeera is in bed with terrorists..

I must say, I have always wondered why they always had the goss, demands, recording always seem to come out from those guys. But then you think. They are the only game in town. Also you gotta think, reports have private sources. Sure, some of them are prolly dubious but then, I'm sure a lot of well respected western papers have reporters who will occationally use dubious sources.

Mountain. Molehill.

You do realise that having superior technology is the reason you are where you are today?

Right?

I mean seriously, if you go around bending your countries scientific efforts to your whims, then you're just asking for a world of pain.

Scientific breakthroughs require free thinking. They require innovation. What they don't need is a figure how dips his hand in progress in order to advance his own political career.

I have a question for you. What happens to a cutting edge technology company who stop coming out with new ideas? new innovations?

They dry up. They get overtaken by the opposition, or taken over. They become a tie for sixth with TableTime and Allied Biscuit.

I spose it is sound business planning. I mean, bush and his cronies have made a lot of money in all this, now all you have to do is crush the hopes and dreams out of everybody else... and BAM, no more competition.

Not in America anyway.

(I love random snide off-topic statements.)

And ya smell like one to.

People need to put more easter eggs in things...

like this fine example.

Nous sommes desoles que notre President soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui.

Coming from the 'It's the future...today' file...

Sarah Conner...

Blam.

Can somebody buy me one of these?

Maybe you could wait til it comes with better resolution...

You reckon if I put up a PayPal account for my cybertronic augmentation fund, anyone would put anything in?

I didn't think so either...

Maybe I'm just gonna have to start posing nude or something...

This is a website for *everyone*

Bush Campain Lies

This is fun for the whole family, debunking lies such as:

- Kerry supports a 50c per gallon fuel tax
- Kerry flip flops on Abortion Rights
and who can forget this classic:
- Bush volunteered to go to Vietnam.

It's all gold.

Found though Scott

My name is xade

and I'm a nail biter.

I haven't chewed my nails in 2 weeks.

Every day is a struggle.

(surely there is some 12 step plan I could be on? and if not, surely there is a way to squeeze money out of vunerable people through this?)

This man is insane.

25 fireworks. Aimed directly at your chest.

I had to sound like a sadist, but this impressed me. I one that gets him in the head at the end make me giggle... I'm a bad person...

Maybe it's ok, cause he's a stupid person...

Man, HIV doesn't stand a chance...

Not with Jackie Chan on the case.

"I want to stop the spread of HIV/Aids and protect children who are affected by landmines," he said.

Seriously, what a guy. Usin' his powers for good... instead of evil.

Now, if only HIV and landmines were leggy blondes who fight in stilletos...

We're just a little crappy. It's still good, it's still good.

OK. Sure, we have finished sort near the bottom, but I got a good feeling about next year.

'06 - The year of the Fairies...

...I just need to get a little middle relief...

(Yep. I sound like I know what I'm talking about.)

Man. Right now, I'm proud to be australian.

I've got a good idea, how about we introduce a bill into the constitution which will restrict the rights of its citizens.

Mr Howard wants to overhaul the Marriage Act to stop courts recognising foreign gay unions in an attempt to defend traditional families, according to The Australian newspaper.

Isn't this nice.

Lil' Johnny wants to cash in on ol' dubya's policy. This coming right on the back of our leaders trading copycat jibes.

I always thought he was small enough to try to use this tactic, I didn't however, think that he would deploy it before seeing how it turns out for 'El Deus and saviour, Honest George, I greatest most smartest man in the world'. I 'spose winng an election through hatred isn't much different from the lies and deception of last election.

And on the note of Australia being a great place to live, What the fuck is this? The saving grace in this is that her team walked of the field... as did the opposition...

For the geek in us all.

Scientists have found the limit on the speed data can be written to magnetic discs. I mean, sure it's always nice to know these things, completely irreivent, but nice none the less.

I mean, the limit is what, a thousand time faster than what we have, and to hear that quote at the end, one would think we will never get those speed in a regular hard disk. So it's gonna have to be new technology, and I would like to propose some kind of gel.

I don't care how it works, but it needs to have a gel. maybe a translucent fluro green colour. And lasers. And a holo-something or other. maybe they need to start thinking about storing data in light. Surely that idea has legs...

I does piss me off a little that our hard drives are so slow though... I mean, when I load something up, I want it to come up in .001 seconds, not 1. my second is valuable time that I'm never getting back. Damn you seagate...

Seagate Out.

Hey Dan.

If ya read this, we ain't gonna make it rock-climbing tonight.

No baby-sitter...

D'oheth.

I remember in the 80's, I hated this game.

Now it's fun, a little sad when you crash and he screams though.

Lander

Spam filter will NEVER win.

Apparently there are 600,426,974,379,824,381,952 ways to spell Viagra.

Fun funity fun

This game is waaaaay too addictive.

Japan is just wierd.

Trang, explain what this is about...

please.

Revellers worship a giant pink phallus to help ward off disease at the Kanamara Matsuri in Kawasaki.

Scandal in Detroit.

So many twists.

It goes all the way to the goddamned President...

(ok, maybe just the mayor... You got excited though, right?)

metaphors

These are gold.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. ** This sounds like something I would say
- She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
- "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
- The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
- She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. ** This one makes me cringe...

There was no "Step into my office"

only the "Cause you're fuckin' fired."

Via SMS

From the king.

To the Prime Minister.

Oh those wacky Swazilandians... Swazilands? Swazians?

Michigan. I hope there are no people living an 'alternative' lifestyle there.

Apparently it is going to be legal for doctors to refuse to get treatment to people on Moral, Ethical or Religeous Grounds.

I wonder if it also means you could refuse to treat people from the Christianity faith?

And although it has measures to circumvent racism being use, I sure people will use the arguement "It's not cause he's an Arab, it's cause he's Muslim." or "It's not cause he's black, it's cause he doesn't worship."

I dunno... It just seems to be a terrible idea.

What a miserable morning.

This is definitly the worst day of the year, weather wise.

It's cold. rainy. windy.

Couple that with me sleeping in a little and the customary fuckin' bad traffic that comes with cold rainy windy days...

fuckin' Melbourne.

fuckin' wet pants. And really, they're whats pissing me the most... so cold and uncomfortable. I'm such a poor baby...

I wanna go home to bed.

So when I go I'm hooking up with dis.

In the sixth level of robot heeeell... (actually, just regular hell, lousy futurama and its catchy tunes...)

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

I did this thing a while ago... Apparently I'm still going to level 6... who woulda thought I was so evil.

mwahahahaha

When a mummy mouse loves herself very much...

She gets the genetic material from immature mouse eggs injected into mature eggs with their own set of chromosomes. Then by blocking expression of a gene called H19 in the immature mouse eggs, the researchers increased the activity of another gene called Igf2.

And this is where babies come from.

Ok. It's offical, men are obsolete...

This is fun

The George Dubya Speach Writter.

Hours of fun for the whole family.

(I know I got this link from someone... can't... remember... who...)

"I respectfully disagree with peaceful men and I have a message for them.
We have a deep hatred and we will attack the innocent today, the vunerable will suffer the most and may god continnue to use force, and violence, and allits weapons of mass destruction again and again"

see... fun.

tee hee hee

ok, to the guy who googled for 'xade satan'... how did you know.

Seriously guy.

Just be a man about it. Apologise.

Poor lil' Johnny, sittin' in the ashtray.

I don't know why, but when I was little there was a song about John Howard that went along the lines of "Poor Little Johnny, sitting in the backbench" due to the fact that he failed misarably at winning elections... Cause at the time, we didn't know what a backbench was, we used to replace it with the word ashtray. Don't know why, just thought it was funny.

Not that that is very relevent to this

Johnny get the bone..

An ancient Aboringinal curse has been bestowed upon lil' Johnny on Tuesday. I bet he's shaking in his lil' boots right now.

Rod, Tod, this is god...

God... What are you doing on the radio?

Is religious experience merely an electronic impulse? "God, Ghosts, and Magnets" asks this question. Some of the world's top neuroscientists have found a link between a specific part of the brain and moments of religious experience. If their theory about the brain is correct, faith and religious experience may simply be an electromagnetic field in the brain.

Would there be quite the ka-fuffle if this was proven...

What ever happened to Afghanistan

This here is just a little story about the Afghan soccer team and why 9 of them were discharged. Well apparently, during their first tour of Europe, 9 of them abandoned the training camp and tried to seek asylem.

I mean, I know it's 'All the way, with Iraq' but why are they more important than these guys? The Afghanies have been right royally screwed on this one. I guess you don't occupy unless they can afford to pay you for it.

Wow. People are stupid.

More than 70% of people would reveal their computer password in exchange for a bar of chocolate

There's more, read the article. I swear, people should have to take a test before they are allowed to use computers.

hmmm, I spose it worked for bush...

Kerry is refusing to release service records.

Eh, what can ya do. Being from the ABB camp, I really don't care about this Kerrys past, happy to pull bush up on it.

Update: the lovely Mileah has brought it to my attention that John Kerry has indeed released his medical records. These can be found Here

Talk about a freudian slip

Have a read of this page over on the symantec web site.

Now find the typo...

Makes me glad to use Firebird. (Man I should upgrade one of these days... so... lazy...)

Fuck Makiko Cakitani

It's good to see that the people are fighting back against their "Words that can't be said on television" effort.

Any blow against censorship is a victory in my opinion.

And hey, had these been in place we wouldn't have pearlers such as the title of this post.

The perfect thing to say when annoyed.

(And if anyone can name where it is from. Lots 'o' prize will be dolled out. Google won't help you now, mwahahahaha)

I honour of Me getting a team...

In the SGCBL

I'm linking to a little practice game.

Baseball

I got 3 out of 50 homers. woo.

Though I must say the game did get more exciting when I realise you could bean the pitcher. Sort of took my mind off hitting them properly. I got him 4 times. heh heh heh

Update: Ok, I played again. Homers: 2. Beans: 12 heh heh heh

First you take Beethoven

His 9th symphany to be exact.

Then you stretch it out to be 24 hours long

This is the only way to appreciate Beethoven, the only way to fully understand the complexities, subtleties and beauty of his imperfections...

Do I sound pretentious yet?

Stolen from The Ultimate Insult

I love this movie

But it does pain me to know that...



Which Princess Bride Character are You?
this quiz was made by mysti

Oh why couldn't I be Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare, to die. See, I got it, or even that Inconceivable guy, that would be alright.

But Buttercup. What does she do. She gets kidnapped. Then rescued. Then forced into marriage. Then rescued again. Man, this sucks.

Linkage from The Cheese.

You can never go wrong

When you re-enact the exorcist in 30 seconds

With Bunnies

Quote of the day.

"History, we don’t know. We’ll all be dead." - george w bush

I think that sums up his entire attitude to being president.

It *is* about money. Power. Now.

(Sorry if this sounds a little cryptic, I've been... musing... recently.)

...

In point of fact it is possible to tell the
difference between a small nuclear explosion and
a large one by a very simple method. The calling
card of a nuclear bomb is the blinding flash that
is far more dazzling than any light on earth--brighter
even than the sun itself--and it is by the duration
of this flash that we are able to determine the size
of the weapon. After the flash a fireball can be
seen to rise, sucking up under it the debris, dust
and living things around the area of the explosion,
and as this ascends, it soon becomes recognisable
as the familiar "mushroom cloud". As a demonstration
of the flash duration test let's try and count the
number of seconds for the flash emitted by a very
small bomb; then a more substantial, medium-sized
bomb; and finally, one of our very powerful,
"high-yield" bombs

I thought this was illegal...

“Gets to a point where in July, the end of July 2002, they need $700 million, a large amount of money for all these tasks. And the president approves it. But Congress doesn't know and it is done. They get the money from a supplemental appropriation for the Afghan War, which Congress has approved. …Some people are gonna look at a document called the Constitution which says that no money will be drawn from the Treasury unless appropriated by Congress. Congress was totally in the dark on this."

So that bush fellow misapproprated funds. Funds that were designed to fight the War on Terror _TM, funds designed to capture Osama, funds designed to disable and destroy the Taliban, fund designed to keep America safe which he then illegally funneled into his shame of a war.

Do you think bush knows that if he wins the next election, then he's gonna go get himself impeached?

Anyways, lets keep reading...

“That decision was first conveyed to Condi Rice in early January 2003 when he said, ‘We're gonna have to go. It's war.’ He was frustrated with the weapons inspections. He had promised the United Nations and the world and the country that either the UN would disarm Saddam or he, George Bush, would do it and do it alone if necessary,” says Woodward. “So he told Condi Rice. He told Rumsfeld. He knew Cheney wanted to do this. And they realized they haven’t told Colin Powell, the Secretary of State.”

..snip..

But, it turns out, two days before the president told Powell, Cheney and Rumsfeld had already briefed Prince Bandar, the Saudi ambassador.

This part however, could actually be used to help bush and his cronies. I mean hey, they could discredit anyone from their ranks who come out with the truth with a simple "But hey... We kept Colin out of the loop, we keep people out of the loop all the time". Hell, they could even run on that.

Bush/Che 04 - Keepin' Colin, out of the loop. (I was gonna write keeping people out of the loop, but keeping Colin just sounded more... aestetically pleasing...) They're bound to get in on that ticket...

The full story is here.

Combine that with this tasty little treat:

Prince Bandar bin Sultan, the Saudi ambassador to the United States and a long-time friend of the Bush family, has given the pledge that "certainly over the summer, or as we get closer to the election, they could increase production several million barrels a day and the price would drop significantly."

And I think the spin machine is gonna have to ask it's Spin Team ^TM to stay back for another 90 days.

Even though it would be nice to have cheaper fuel, it shouldn't be done purely as a political stunt. If he has the power to just ask, why hasn't he? Why do I get the feeling that he's getting low in his little bag of tricks.

- As seen all over the internet.

I was struck by inspiration

To get myself some Sushi and spend lunch watching these dark clouds role by...

Unfortunate this damn internet keeps drawing me back in.

Why am I such a slave to its infernal power.

Sure, this may be a marketing ploy

Subservient Chicken.

But I don't understand... This doesn't make me want to buy Burger King. If anything, it just makes me want to have sex with a giant chi... I won't go on with that... however I will say,

The chicken knows when you ask it to bend over. It also seems to know Jump and Dance and when you swear, it isn't very impressed.

Oh yeah, and it seems to understand when you tell it to die. :(

Linky from The Nook

Cause I had to be funny, now I have to pay the conscequences...

Look. Chain Mailly goodness.

Everyone reading this shall now hit "Leave a Comment" and ask me exactly three (3) questions. Ask me anything, but not too TMI, ok? I will answer your three (3) questions. Then you post this in your journal, asking all of your friends to ask you three (3) questions.

Damn you Solonor.

This is an interesting little game

Break in the road.

It was just a damn shame that the crowd hated me...

tee hee hee

Who would thought that Lego people get up to such mischief

From the lovely SuperMels. (A.K.A MellyMcSmelly) ;)

Angelicus Von Caticus.

We will miss you always.

I hope you're catching birds in that great cat party in the sky.

Ouch.

Public Service Announcement.

Don't mix chlorine and alcohol

OK, this review of the Jesus Chainsaw Massacre was just too funny...

From the SFGate

There were children. Small children, most of them under 10, in the theater where I endured this spiritual mess, their grim parents apparently believing Mel's R-rated bloodbath would offer up some sort of constructive lesson, something deep and divine and unforgettable.

And then the whips rended and the blood gushed and the sadomasochism amplified to a fever pitch and the families all sat there, stone faced and lost, apparently convincing themselves they were seeing something glorious and profound, as the hapless kids stared down a future full of bloody Jesus nightmares and psychotherapy until many years and many prescription meds later when they finally realize, damn but that movie messed me up.

Remember "Jaws"? Remember how that flick traumatized the entire Boomer generation back in '75? Same thing. "Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the church ... WHIPWHIPTHRASHARRRGGGH.

I hate not having the internet.

Seriously, I just can't keep up with the ol' current affairs without it.

For example.

What the hell happened with Condi's testimony? I heard that she testified but I heard nothing of the fallout, good or bad.
And did you know that America is at war with Iraq again? That caught me by suprise... I wouldn't mind some details on that.
And what's with Israel going on an Assassaination spree? and what happened to good ol' fashioned cloak and dagger assassins. If you are gonna start taking out political leaders, you need people who have briefcases that contain long range rifles with big-assed scopes.

Now what else is going on that I should know about?

Had bush been impeached yet?
Anyone shown any nipple at any inapropriate time?

At least I've been able to keep up with Survivor... don't need the internet for that... oh man that Boston Rob guy is so evil... Woo, go Rupert.

YaY. Im back.

Not wanting to sit on my laurels, I thought I would try to stir up a bit of controversy with my first post back... having do that, and cursed my soul to eternal damnation, I thought I would do the standard 'I'm back'. Heregoes.

Mileah. You are a champ. You little Texan Ripper as they say... (Please, don't ask me who 'They' are...) That Bushaid link... pure quality.

Holiday was fun. Did some sitting. Bit of sleeping. Man, I think I could do with some full time unemployment right about now, but I spose it's not as much fun when you're not getting well paid for sittin' on the ol' keister. Still, I think I might have some things to learn from This site... ahhh. I can dream...

I have to wonder one thing though... and again, this is related to you Mileah, why was it that the first day I was on holiday, I got my biggest reader turn-out ever? were you all *that* happy to see me go? was it like the final Seinfeld episode and just sorta disappointing.

Any way, to summerize... Holiday. Good. Mileah. Great. Seinfeld. Funny.

I'm gonna start with a question...

What do would you call it if you woke up one day and found you were pregnant?

Now, say you didn't recall getting any action in the past year but still, there is the evidence.

Would your mind flick back to that night a couple of months ago, you know, the one that had that wierd dream?

Would you feel violated? Would you feel raped?

Would you call your son Jesus?

Goddamn! Who fragged me?

...Man these internet cafes are loud. So. Much. Counterstrike (Or something like that.)

Anyways, just a quick little update.

Holiday is goin' just swell.

Mileah. You're a champ... Considering I just sort of threw you the keys and ran... heh heh heh.

and.

Trang. You have to call me. ASAP. You really have to call.