metaphors

These are gold.

- It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. ** This sounds like something I would say
- She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
- "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
- The plan was simple, like my brother Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
- The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
- She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again. ** This one makes me cringe...