Ba dum. *ch*

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?"
Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?"

Oh god, if you really exist

You will do something to stop This

Bad. Bad Americans...

According to a Yahoo! Mail global survey of about 37,000 Internet users in 11 countries, 20 percent of U.S. residents admit buying products from spam purveyors.

This is all your fault. Twenty percent?? Then you prolly bitch about how much spam you get.

Let's say the obvious.

By making Iraq a playground for right-wing economic theorists, an employment agency for friends and family, and a source of lucrative contracts for corporate donors, the administration did terrorist recruiters a very big favor.

Who Lost Iraq?
By PAUL KRUGMAN

Hey would ya look at that... I cracked 500...

On Blogger Since: January 2004
Avg Posts Per Week: 19
Posts Written: 505
Words Written: 31,466
Outbound Links: 557

And considering I rarely post on the weekends... I think I'm doin' alright.

The scandal...

If the grapevine is to be believed...

Brittney spears is preggas...

:O

See, that's when pre-marital sex get you...

Why do I get the feeling...

that 'they' are going to try to get This banned...

Lord Foucault is an admitted rapist. He does it on impulse -- for the thrill of it and for the feeling of control he has over his female victims.

But he's not attacking women in real life. Instead, Lord Foucault is a character in Sociolotron, an online virtual world that gives players a platform where they can act out a wide range of fantasies.

People on the net are funny...

specially when they translate things into l337

[on the road to Rivendell]
Aragorn: "ZOMG!Arwen!"
**Arwen rides up
Aragorn: "A/S/L? Wanna net secks?"
Arwen: "Sif! *** is up with Frodo?"
Sam: "teh leet Hax0r "
Arwen: "Firewall?"

**Arwen rides off with Frodo, the nazgul give chase. Arwen crosses the ford at Rivendell.
Arwen: "PH34R!! My dad pwns urs!"
**nazgul start to cross
Arwen: "LOLOLOLO noobs!!1!"
**the ford rises up and washes the nazgul away
Warning: Connection Problems Detected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
nazgul has disconnected
Arwen: "Pwnt"

...

[stopping at the banks of the river, the Fellowship sets up camp]
**Frodo goes off looking for firewood, Boromir follows and confronts him
Boromir: "Gimmie teh ringz0r so ** hax can fight teh boss!"
Frodo: "Sif, foo. Punkbuster will pwn joo!"
Boromir: "Naw, we play on non-pb servers"
Frodo: "STFU noob"
Frodo has left the server
Boromir: "***! FRODO! Bring teh ringz0r back, faghat!"

**A group of Uruk Hai encounter Boromir
Boromir: "OH FFS, TEAMS!!"
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Uruk Hai [arrow] Boromir
Boromir: "****ing campers"
**Aragorn comes across the battle
Aragorn: "Boromir joo noob! ***!"
Uruk Hai: "Hah, pwn!"
Aragorn [broadsword] Uruk Hai
Aragorn: "I bring joo teh pwn!"
**Aragorn goes to Boromir
Boromir: "Damn lag!"
Warning: Connection problems detected
Boromir has disconnected
Aragorn: "FFS!"

I like optical illusions.

And what is better that an optical illusion?

Lots of them All at once.

Woo. Good times.

I've got a mystery.

Lately I've been following a little mystery/conspiricy involving

Neurocam and Shelly Innocence.

There is a lot of susness going on...

I hope that one day it will make sense.

More monday monday fun

Ever wanted to be a Swinger?

Now's your chance.

WTF.

ok...

$4.5 Billion to treat 450,000 people with cancer

or

$7 Billion to ship oil to Iraq

Share the outrage.

Monday Funny.

Here.

Mr Howard.

We didn't elect you to lock up little children.

Say it loud peoples.

No Circles...

If anyone can tell me how to pass level three...

I'll give them a prize.

For some reason I don't think it would work...

Though I prolly would like my own Golem

I could get it to open jars for me...
Get me stuff when I'm in bed and it's too cold to not be in bed...
Liquor store robberies...

Second thoughs... Maybe I should give it a go.

ok... after the afor mentioned working...

Don't go play This game

Unless your intention is to crash badly then drive backwards to crash everyone else out badly...

Now, considering that...

I have been drinking working all afternoon, I have a little game for you all.

http://www.wagenschenke.ch/

ok, now, it is in German so just use your mouse

Score to beat: 87

I hope so, I mean, there are only so many bullets you can sidestep. I don't think that when This one fires, he will be in a position to sidestep... considering that his arse will still be sore from his slide out of office...

The French judge has been quietly interviewing witnesses in the case since last year and has considered calling Mr Cheney to testify. With the new SEC investigation, that politically explosive prospect seems more remote, if only because French and US authorities appear to be co-operating with each other to exchange information.

Still, the question remains: how much did Mr Cheney know about the contested deal? Halliburton says that Mr Stanley did not report directly to Mr Cheney and points out that the initial deal was signed in 1995 by a company that only became a part of Halliburton three years later, with the takeover of Dresser Industries.

"Halliburton wasn't involved in this," said a Halliburton spokesperson. "This was all put together well before we acquired Dresser."

According to lawyers familiar with the relevant US statutes, however, that may not be a complete defence. Under US law, companies become responsible for any regulatory issues of companies they acquire. And TSKJ continued to win contracts to extend the project until 2002, using Mr Tesler as an agent.

Furthermore, the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act (FCPA) penalises any company officers who "knew or should have known" that bribes were paid. Mr Cheney was personally involved in acquiring Dresser, raising the question whether the due diligence conducted during the acquisition should have brought any impropriety to light, lawyers say.

oh no...

"When I defected I brought some of these counterfeit notes to South Korea, and I showed them to the experts in the South Korean intelligence agency. They said - these are not fake notes. They're real."

hhmmm... This is gunna fuck something bad isn't it.

Worst case senario. Think Germany, Pre WWII. Massive inflation. I suggest buying property RIGHT NOW. Right this very second right now.

Can this guy be arrested?

Here.

Seriously, this is creepy right.

WTF. He should get himself some counsilling or somethin'.

Cuckoo. Cuckoo

oh. And don't forget to read the guestbook.

bush ain't gonna like this...

Exactly half the country now approves of the way Bush is managing the U.S. war on terrorism, down 13 percentage points since April, according to the poll. Barely two months ago, Bush comfortably led Kerry, the presumptive Democratic nominee, by 21 points when voters were asked which man they trusted to deal with the terrorist threat. Today the country is evenly divided, with 48 percent preferring Kerry and 47 percent favoring Bush.

And for some reason, I got get the feeling that this trend is gonna reverse itself any time soon...

Never have I seen a better reason to upgrade

C'mon, go get Firefox...

It's written in the stars

Got to work...

First thing I did, as always, went to the kitchen for my morning cuppa joe.

Washed my cup.
Filled my water bottle.
Put a teaspoon of sugar in my cup
Put two teaspoons of coffee in the sugar.
cursed.

You know that you're off to a good start to the day with an effort like that.

My mental picture...

of This article cracks me up the most.

A bunch of cops chasing a doughnut truck.

at low speeds.

possible running beside the truck.

waving sticks.

Trang...

Watch your head.

My god this man has a way of writing...

The latest by the War Nerd.

With a very quick yet very informitive look at Saudi Arabia and the problems that exist within.

Of course, it is all peppered with his uniquely dark humour.

So... many... Games

One day I will sift through These and point you all in the directions of the good ones.

Including my high scores ;)

Until then, knock yourself out. Post your high scores if ya want... I'll see if I can beat. Heck, write a review if it really floats your boat. You'll prolly get it posted up.

It could be your first step for fame. Live the dream. Do it today.

You can't really blame him for being jumpy.

The presidence has been set.

America attacks without provication.

I hope He doesn't have any soviet warheads on hand...

Which one's latitude...

The Degree Confluence Project

These guys are compiling photos from every surface point in the world when a latitude integer meets a longitude integer.

confuddled? It's explained better at the site. Go have a look-see.

Texan you say...

One fire hydrant
One flower shop
One dog
Nineteen cars, not including his own...

Priceless

So, Which Spyware removal program do you use?

Which one should you use?

All of them...

or at least, the two free ones.

Ok... Who said the following... It's pretty easy...

"The illiteracy level of our children are appalling. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"...

ok, how 'bout we try another one.

"Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."...

ok, one more...

"Free nations are peaceful nations. Free nations don’t attack each other. Free nations don’t develop weapons of mass destruction." - I spose this is saying that America isn't a free nation. I spose they're not...

ok. If you still need more hits, go read This

I'm sure that this is why you all come here...

For Nude pictures of Brittney Spears

mmmm Chocolate...

Pethouse, Pet of the Week

Playing straight into his hands.

Please. Read this.

Apparently, an American counter-terrorism intellegence officer of more than 20 years has anominously released a book. Now, this book is extremely critical of the bush war on terror.

In particular, on the fact that invading Iraq didn't help stop al-qaeda. In fact, it has had the opposite effect and as a 'reward', he believes that a convenietly timed attack will take place to rally the folk around their Supreme War Chief.

He believes that Al Qaeda is a stronger, more intellegent group than they were when they took down the two towers, and that is scary. 'specially when you consider that the West is standing in Iraq with their cocks in their hands doing what?

Nothing.

Nothing, while the enemy is getting smarter. Faster. And eventually, more daring.

I think it would be a good idea to move away from any 'Landmarks of Western supremecy' in the next few months. Away, or at least up-wind...

Yeti Sports Part 5

Pingu.

Ok.

Highscore: 1631

Thanks to Danny for the linkage.

I'm reading this right, right?

Meanwhile, XADS is also planning a more advanced weapon, which will have a range of 100 meters or more. Instead of firing ionised gas, it will probably use a powerful laser to ionise the air itself.

This is a phaser right. Like in Star Trek.

Can I have one?

I hope something like this happens on our Big Brother...

Prolly won't though.

Sometime, there is just nothing to add.

HONG KONG - Thieves snatched two computers from a Hong Kong trade fair, a particularly brazen act considering that the victims were security companies showing off the latest crime-stopping technology.

Torture. Summed up pretty tidyly.

By Terry Jones

Sadly it is very true.

Very scary.

Ok, I think people are going to get hurt.

I have found in the kitchen at work the following items.

A big box of darts and...

Another box, entitled 'The greatest karaoke box set ever'.

I don't think they should mix. People will be hurt.

Be all that you can be.

Seem Smarter

You would like to seem smarter wouldn't you?

Of course you would.

Follow these 4 four easy steps...

Though I do have a problem with step three. That one could definitly backfire on you.

Ecco la stadia. Mio da las grande e' tu per pevour. Si?

Dove'? Si, da le' espialadoshious.

un outen von dis laden.

Unless you hit them with some quality crap like that, but then that violates step one...

Sure.

Remember Matchbox cars?

So much Fun

Score to beat.
Jump 11
Score: 766

I take it that you all are getting ready for Soccer...

Go Practice

Then get back to me.

Ok... This game is fun...

I got 17979 points in this game of Wire Hang and it is fun...

But I'm just not sure if she is going to start removing clothing or not...

I would hope not, it is a fun game otherwise.

If you care...

You prolly already know that the latest version of Firefox is out

Firefox 0.9

Heh heh heh...

Mobile phone now officially have virii

Bout time too. Just wait til they automatically start you dialling Adult numbers intermittantly, spreading, then erasing themselves... That would be nasty.

So would spreading via SMS...

If anyone if going out by fucking...

Please, steal me a sign.

Spokesman Siegfried Hoeppl, said, "Everyone here knows what it means in English, but for us F*cking is F*cking - and it`s going to stay F*cking - even though the signs keep getting stolen."
He said the name came from Mr F*ck and his family who settled in the area 100 years ago, and added "ing", meaning village or settlement.

OK. Ring the bells. Wooooo. go future.

Scientists have performed successful teleportation on atoms for the first time, the journal Nature reports.

Wooo get the spooky action goin'

Now, somebody. Beam me a cheese burger.

OMG. They turned these poor mice into

Women

They found the formerly promiscuous rodents spent more time cuddling with their current partners rather than with new females, compared to control animals.

O.K. you can start throwing things at me for that blantant sexual insult.

Seriously though, if I were the type of guy that was promiscuous, I wouldn't get my brain fucked for a lady...

not that I am the promiscuous type...

c'mon. Enough is enough

Pentagon officials tell NBC News that late last year, at the same time U.S. military police were allegedly abusing prisoners at Abu Ghraib prison, U.S. Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld ordered that one Iraqi prisoner be held “off the books” — hidden entirely from the International Red Cross and anyone else — in possible violation of international law.

I don't know how much more I can read on this topic. Somebody better get fucking fired soon or like everything else, The People ^TM will forget. Again.

A must read.

Here.

All of this is a ghastly scandal, one of the worst in American history. It is evident cause for impeachment of this president, if Congress has the courage to do it, and for prosecution of cabinet figures and certain commanders. However in view of the partisan alignment in Congress, quite possibly nothing will happen before the November election.

What then? It also is quite possible that George W. Bush will be elected to a second term. In that case, the American electorate will have made these practices its own. Now that is something for our children to think about.

Alternate Historys...

Important Events In History That Never Occurred Today

Very Amusing.

in 1381, the Peasant's Revolt, led by Wat Tyler, climaxed when they took the Archbishop of Canterbury hostage and demanded to speak with the King. Richard II, after much negotiating, agreed to the peasant's terms; the nobility was abolished, except for the King's own line, and Wat Tyler was made Richard's Prime Minister. This immediately caused the Baron's Rebellion, which was put down in short order by huge armies of peasant volunteers. In his triumphant speech to his troops after the negotiations, Tyler said, "We will be free forever, our heirs and our lands."

Jo. It was Richard the second... And surely Hal wouldn't have let this come to pass...?

The funniest thing I have seen all morning...

Funny stuff

Thanks Scott. go Hops.

Would it be wrong

To replace all the skinny milk with regular milk?

I'm sure people will feel better with there morning coffees taste *that* much better...

least, until they found out anyways.

I know that I've linked to this before...

But it is the first day back after a long weekend and if you're like me, you're gonna feel like Shooting kittens.

Have fun.

How could you ignore this

Oh man is it ever fun to annihilate the planet.

Especially when said annihilation is combined with a really juicy cataclysmic natural disaster and some fire-breathin' dread and maybe some planetary zigzagging, along with some sort of wondrous ancient Mayan/Hopi prophecies and much screaming and running and bloodshed and a mad global rending of flesh.

This is how it starts. Everyone from paranoid Rapture-ready right-wing conservatives to mysterious Australian astronomers to weird alarmist economists all suddenly realize their various yelps and screams and chat-room rants are running parallel and that they're all ringing the same bell.

And all their stories merge into some sort of dazzling interconnected web, an impressive and slightly disturbing jamboree of destruction and mayhem and global economic collapse that, if all goes as predicted, will all come down within the next few weeks.

Merlin Luck.

Big brother evictee number... 5... maybe? maybe 6, has made history.

What a guy

Seriously. I've got nothin but respect for this guy, he took his 15 minutes of fame and is doing something about it.

Way to go Merls, we here at xade support you.

This deserves to be fought for.

I'm sure it will explain a lot

If they ever figure out this whole Higgs Bosum thing.

But I don't think it will happen. I don't think it exists in the context that they believe. I don't believe they are looking at it from the right direction. I think they are trying to turn base metal into gold.

I'll get back to this when I figure out how the *should* be looking at it.

Yeah, sure... I believe that...

Apparently Britney Spears Injures Her Knee During A Video Shoot...

All I want to know is what kind of video she was performing in?

One where she was on her knees a lot perhaps?

I'll let you, the viewer at home, fill in the blanks on that one.

Awwww, they're so cute and grumpy.

Rare Kittens Each one cuter and grumpier than the last...

Injury warning for armchair fans

Rule 1: Just don't be a fuck stick.

And stop wasting everyones time...

That is all.

This didn't really happen did it?

It's just like weekend at Bernies...

-- from The Lost Five Minutes

The town genius, whose name was Marcantonio Smith-to-the-power-Nine, did not live in the town nowadays; he had done so, but found out he got little work done because people constantly came to him asking to solve their problems. So now he lived in a tower with a studio in the nearby forest, where he painted, and sculpted, and wrote poetry, and conceived new kinds of mathematics, and invented perpetual motion, and did everything a genius ought.

Bill found him in the studio, standing in front of a huge slab of marble. On the marble he had a football-sized lump of colourless, shining material, like nothing so much in the world as a good big bit of glass putty, and he was squeezing it, and kneading it, and thumping it, and palming it into a ball, and then flattening it out, and then rolling it into a sausage, and then tearing it into thin strips, and those into small nuggets, shaping them all into different things, animals, stars, flowers, figures, faces, and then flinging the whole mass together and beginning again.

He smiled kindly at Bill, who came hesitating over and stood by the slab.

"Well, my boy? What can I do for you?"

All this time, Smith never stopped playing with the lump of stuff.

Bill told the sad tale of Anthea and the lost five minutes.

"I was wondering if you could possible help us," he said. "The dragon's due to swallow her tomorrow at eight sharp unless I can find somebody to give me five minutes."

"Five minutes? Is that all?" said Marcantonio Smith-to-the-power-Nine, and he pinched off a bit of his glass putty. "Do you want them marked out?" He flattened the small lump he had pinched off, shaped it into an oblong, and marked five divisions on it as if he were scoring fudge.

Bill gaped, watching him, and he laughed.

"No need to look so astonished, my boy!"

"It seems so easy for you!"

"It's always easy to be kind."

"It didn't seem so for the other people in the town," Bill said. "How is it you have so much time when nobody else has any at all?"

"That's because I only do the things that interest me. Do you want your five minutes in a bag?"

"Oh, please don't trouble, sir. I wish I could do something for you!"

"Bring your sister to visit me sometime. I like fairy tales too."

cooled by a combination of water and propylene glycol, a clear liquid used in automobile antifreeze.

How could you not post the article that tells me that?

drooool.

ok... I got nothin' to post...

So let me tell you all a joke.

An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day. Bored in his history lesson, he gets up and walks out. Walking down the inflatable corridor, he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and he pulls an inflatable knife out and stabs him.
He runs out of the inflatable school. As he gets outside, he thinks again "I hate school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He runs off to his inflatable home.
Two hours later, his inflatable mum is knocking at his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police. Panicking, the inflatable boy pulls out the inflatable knife and stabs himself.
Later on that evening, he wakes up in an inflatable hospital and sees
the inflatable headmaster in the inflatable bed next to him. Shaking his deflated head, more in sorrow than in anger, the headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down; you've let the school down, but worst of all, you've let yourself down".

Ticking off an elf...

Man, I wanted to use that answer every chance I got...

Are you a Nerd of the Ring?

Woo. 10 of 10. yep. I'm all nerding up this corner...

Bendigo says 'No more vomit.'

See, if I was writting This article it would have had the above title.

Look Jo. It's Bendigo. And they don't want any more vomit. (do you want me to keep going? ok)

HA. It's Bendigo. Look. Jo. Hey, listen to me, look. It's Bendigo. They don't like vomit anymore.

ok, I'll stop.

Remember Kiddos

the internet could put them at risk from bomb-making, blackmail, HIV, asylum seekers, aliens and blindness.

Don't ya just love a good ol' fashioned out of context quote.

Go read the real article